Live in The Here and Now

Have you ever wished that you could go back in time? For whatever reason, we all tend to think of the past as the good old days. We like to reminisce about how good or bad life was back then. If only we could turn back the hands of time how different our lives would be today.

If yesteryear is haunting you and you can't stop thinking of past situations, relationships from days gone by and missed opportunities, you probably feel depressed and miserable. It might be time to let the past die. My father likes to say, “It’s gone and what once was will never be again and that's it.” You can't turn back the hands of time. You can only live in the present, in this here and now. My advice is quit punishing yourself with the memories of the past. Even so-called great memories often make you feel stressed because they are long gone.

My intent here is to not discredit the importance of the past. I understand those experiences helped to get us where we are today, whether good or bad. The goal is to encourage anyone who feels they are in a rut to quit reliving the past, stop bringing it up in the here and now. All of us know people, we may even do it ourselves, keep recalling experiences that happened decades ago. It’s as if life started and ended at that moment in time. Unfortunately, that was a crowning accomplishment in their life and they keep reliving the moment over and over. They want that one shining moment to last forever, but it’s long gone no matter the outcome.

I suggest you focus on the present and concentrate on living in the here and now. Be present, here and now. Don't continue to mentally replay and rewind the old movie of your life. Just let it be, the past is dead; don't attempt to resurrect it. You've got the chance to live your life in the present! Why live the past over and over?

In the book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do,     author Amy Morin advocates that people shouldn’t spend their time dwelling on the past because it can prevent them from reaching their full potential. She offers several ways in which focusing on the past prevents us from being the best that we can be. According to the author, dwelling our thoughts on the past:

1)  prevents us from enjoying or taking advantage of opportunities in the present moment. We are so busy looking backward until we can’t appreciate the new blessings before us.

2)  contributes to many of our health problems.  Research studies have shown that constantly thinking about the past could put us at greater risk for diseases leading to heart problems, cancer, and dementia.

3)  hinders our decision-making skills because it creates a state of mental conflict between what we should do now and our experience from the past. It makes it difficult to make decisions based on our current reality.  

Sometimes it can be difficult to let the past go. Family, friends and other people in our lives often define us by our past experiences. They refuse to let it go and bring it up every time we see them. These encounters cause us to continue to relive our past repeatedly. It’s time you let them know that you no longer identify yourself with those past experiences from years gone by.  The past is the past and you have moved on with your life focused on this very minute, right here, right now! Let them know you “ain’t” what you use to be and not yet what you are destined to become.

Don’t be afraid to live in the present.

While it’s important to reflect on the past, you must direct your thoughts in the future. You can't move forward if constantly looking into the rear-view mirror. I challenge you to try to drive a car or ride a bike while looking in the rear-view mirror without facing ahead. I guarantee it will be extremely difficult to move forward and you’re most likely to wreck. So, quit thinking of the past and begin anticipating the future.

Move forward in your life by thinking of the things in front of you. What do you want your future to be like? What is important to you here and now? Make plans, identify goals, and produce a vision for a better tomorrow. You should be excited about the future and the opportunities lying ahead of you.

You had better get to work, be more proactive and do everything that you can to make this vision a reality. Focus on the future and keep your thoughts positive and alive in your mind- what may be, what may happen, what opportunities exist and so forth. Mother Teresa said, “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”

May the past rest in peace. Your life is in the here and now. Everything that's happening right now is going to produce your future. So, concentrate on the here and now if you want to create a better tomorrow. The here and now is all we have, the only opportunity in which we have the power to take control of our life. Even the future is a mental projection of the mind but we live forever in the here and now.

Written by Dr. RL Kight for Mind Power Solutions.                                                               

 Visit www.mindpowersolutions.com to learn more about our personal development and training services.

Overcoming Fear of Failure

Fear of failure is common among many of us. All of us want to experience success; however, only a few of us are brave enough to confront this type of fear. Those who do are able to rise above their fears and achieve whatever goals they have set for themselves. Once overcome with fear, it becomes extremely difficult to realize our full potential.

One of the damaging side effects caused by fear of failure is the inability to accept that we all make mistakes and it’s a normal part of change and growth.  Some of us begin to magnify the mistakes created along the way until it overtakes our mindset to the point that it is difficult to get rid of them. Fear will either motivate you or paralyze you. For example, someone makes a mistake in selecting their first love and then decides to never date again for fear of being hurt. There are other instances where fear of failure becomes so limiting that it halts people in their growth and development causing them to lose faith in their own abilities to accomplish their dreams and desires.

Steps to Overcoming This Fear

Fear of failure is often a deeply rooted emotion that entraps us in the past. Unless we can let go of the fear of failure, we will be most likely unable to achieve our goals. We become incapable of achieving something when in fact we can master it. Once we are confident enough to overcome our fear, we will recognize our power and ability to do what we need to do and succeed at it. Here are some basic strategies that can be used to overcome the fear of failure.

·      Do Something About the Fear

Fear of failure immobilizes us. We can become so wrapped up in the fear that we will eventually fail that we rather not try. But when we don't try, we neither fail nor succeed. Therefore, we must take decisive action towards conquering our fear. Even if we should fail, it will provide us with a sense of what further actions should be taken to contribute towards our success. If we succeed, then we should take the time to reward ourselves for progress made no matter how big or small.

·      Try Something Different

There are several factors that contribute as to why we fail or succeed at doing something. Whichever it is, we need to look at our behavior towards something and the result achieved. But the most important step we can take is never to associate our failure with ourselves. Let’s not make failure a personal reflection of our ability to succeed. I remember falling off a horse when I was around 10 years old while riding too fast. I hate to admit that because of fear of falling again, it took me more than 40 years before getting the courage to get back on a horse. I often reflect on how I could have enjoyed horseback riding over the years if I overcame my fear to get back on and try again. We must be willing to always get back up and try different strategies to achieve our goals. All I probably needed to do was ride slower until I was capable of riding faster.  

·      Learning from Failure

This is the best that we can take away from the experience and one of the more effective ways to get rid of this fear. Instead of putting all the blame on ourselves as to why we failed in our endeavors, let’s use failure as a learning experience instead. Identify what were the lessons learned from the experience. This might enable us to avoid failing in the future. Consider the following questions as they can provide the answers in the desire to conquer the fear of failure:

• Where did I commit the mistakes?

• How could I have prevented the mistake from happening?

• Where can I make improvements?

Failure must always be translated into a learning experience. In return, we gain opportunities to learn and do better. Without having experienced any type of failure, we would not have the capacity to change for the better. To conquer this type of fear, it is important that we learn how to confront and overcome them. Otherwise, we are likely to end up repeating the same mistake or worse our fear of failure could cause us to sell ourselves short at the bargaining table of life.

Written by Dr. RL Kight for Mind Power Solutions.                                                                                  Visit www.mindpowersolutions.com to learn more about our personal development and training services.

Martin L. King Jr., "What is Your Life's Blueprint?"

 A must listen for our young people today. Very relevant.  Enjoy and share blog with others.

Dedication to New Year’s Resolution Will Make the Difference in 2018

The beginning of a new year brings new opportunities with unlimited possibilities to be more and do more with our knowledge, skills, and talents. The new year provides us with the option to leave the past behind and to start a new chapter in life. It’s also allows us to continuing to build on previous life experiences to take our game to the next level. We now have 365 new days, a total of 8,760 hours, to accomplish whatever we desire. Whatever we decide to do with the upcoming year is up to us.

Traditionally, we tend to start the new year by adopting a New Year’s resolution with the intent to change or improve in some aspect of our lives. We make promises to ourselves to do things better and/or leave behind behaviors that no longer add value to our well-being. Unfortunately, the excitement of taking on these new changes fissile out before too long. According to U.S. News, approximately 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by the second week of February. This occurs primarily because it’s easy to fall back into old habits and the struggle to do things differently becomes too much of a day-to-day hassle. And when we don’t receive immediate gratification or expected results, we lose confidence in our ability to get it done.

I would like to offer a perspective that may help you stick to your 2018 New Year’s resolution. Instead of concentrating on the outcome of living up to the resolution, I propose that you focus on the level of dedication required to achieve the desired goal this year.  It requires a willingness to keep working to achieve the end results even when you don’t appear to be making progress. Although you may have projected it will take 90 days to lose a certain amount of weight, it may actually take 180 days or more. However, you won’t get there if you don’t keep trying. I encourage you to dedicate your time and effort to do some type of fitness and nutritional activity each day. Eventually, you will succeed at reaching your New Year’s resolution.

While a resolution is often nothing more than a verbal commitment, it demands that we dedicate our time and effort to accomplish the goal we hope to achieve. It makes us personally responsible for whether we succeed or fail at this year. Without an investment of time and effort it’s very unlikely we’ll accomplish anything we set out to do- big or small. Old habits are hard to break. It took some of us 25 years to perfect our bad habits, so we shouldn’t be surprise when we find it so difficult to let them go. They provide a comfort zone and we must be willing to try something new. Where as in 2017 you slept seven hours a night, this year sleep only six hours and use the free hour for exercise and fitness. Also, you don’t have to stop eating, just reduce the portion size and gradually change what you eat.  The secret is to burn up more calories than you take end on a daily basis. In 90 days, you can be in some of the best fitness of your life. It’s all about your life style.

Dedication of our time and effort to accomplish our New Year’s resolution will ultimately determine our success. There will be ups and downs, unanticipated challenges, and moments of self-doubt along the way, but victory is ours in 2018.

We had better get going because we only have 359 days left.    

“Be Great” in 2018!

Written by Dr. RL Kight for Mind Power Solutions.        

Visit the Mindset blog at www.mindpowersolutions.com to share your comments with us.

When Things Go Wrong, Trust the Power Within

As my awareness of mind power has increased, I have learned to trust the power within when confronted with the daily challenges of life. It is one of the greatest and most resourceful powers we possess. We can control our actions and reactions to whatever comes our way.  It depends on our thoughts and response to the situation that makes the difference.  I recently read James Borg’s book, Mind Power: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life. He advocates that “If we’re unable to change other people and our life situation we can at least change something that’s within our control. We can use mind power – change the way we think, which in turn changes the way we feel about a situation.” 

We are endowed with the mental power to change, endure and create our own reality. Negative situations and circumstances control our destiny only if we allow them too. There is no need to sit around waiting for others to chart a pathway to success or resolve problems for us.  Embracing the power within enables us to rise above low expectations and self-imposed limitations even when the outcome is uncertain and destination unclear. 

Although we are endowed with the mental capacity to overcome most obstacle that comes our way, I admit this is not an easy task. Life has a way of testing our beliefs when we least expect it.  There were times when I seem to have it all together.  Everything appeared to be on track and headed in the right direction as planned. What do you know? A challenge comes knocking on the door without an invitation.

I recall a situation when working on my doctoral dissertation with everything going according to schedule until one night at 2 o’clock in the morning I made the mistake of pressing no when prompted to save the file and turned off the computer.  The next morning, I was shocked to discover that I had deleted 6 months of research and writings without a backup copy.  I was devastated and hurt to say the least. I refused to do any work for almost two weeks.  I had to decide whether to start over or give up on my desire to earn a doctoral degree.  I quickly erased the mistake from my thoughts and went on to graduate from the program. The experience taught me to always save back up files.

We also have the power to turn life changing experiences into something positive.  All too often when the unexpected happens, we decide to have a pity party or expect the worst. At that moment, it’s critical that we take control of our thoughts to keep a positive attitude about the situation. Bad things happen to good people, but how we respond makes the difference. For instance, I was in the best physical condition of my life when diagnosed with prostate cancer.  I had done everything possible to safe guard my health. How would I deal with this? On the day, I finished the conversation with my doctor to explore treatment options; I left his office and went for my normal 5 miles run.  I was determined not to allow this unexpected cancer diagnosis to pre-occupy my time or thoughts.  I immediately scheduled a date for surgery and continued my daily routine free of stress or anxiety. I never once thought about serious illness or the possibility of dying.

Another valuable capability we possess is the ability to embrace change.  We can spend our time fighting change or accept it. All too often, we allow change to paralyze us as opposed to mobilizing us into action. We become paralyzed by using every waken moment to fight a situation in which we often have no control. Unfortunately, situations change and we must tap into our capacity to adapt and move on.

One the most crushing situations in my own professional career occurred when dismissed from my job for the first time in my career. Initially, I wallowed in self-pity trying to make sense of why this happened to me. I considered myself to be a golden boy who always came out on top.  Then I remembered what former basketball great, Isiah Thomas said in his book, The Fundamentals: 8 Plays for Winning the Games of Business and Life, that “you can wallow in self-pity for a moment, but then you have to pick yourself up and move on.

This experience changed my perspective on being employed and enabled me to see myself as CEO of my own personal enterprise. It helped me come to the realization that job security does not exist and organizations don’t owe us anything.  Our knowledge, skills, and talents belong to us and we hold the power to sell them to whoever we chose too.  Losing the job was one of the best things that could have happened to me.

Finally, we must be mindful of the words we speak because they can reflect our distrust of the power within. Language such as: they won’t let me, the system is keeping me down, and I don’t stand a chance will become reality.  There will always be people and situations to make our lives more difficult than they should be. Our trust of the power within must be greater than these outside forces. If not, it becomes easy to lose hope, abandon our dreams and live an unfulfilled life.  Mind power is our greatest asset to achieve personal success.