We all experience setbacks and disappointments in life at one time or another. No matter how hard we try to avoid them - tragedy, hurt, and illness have a way of finding us. There are also times when our actions contribute to our own down fall. Other times, it’s like B. B. King use to sing about, “if I didn’t have bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all”. We feel that bad things just seem to follow us no matter where we go or what we do. These day to day challenges can prevent us from reaching our full potential if we allow ourselves to fall prey to a victim mentality.
What does it mean to have a victim mentality? From my understanding, it’s a sense of being powerless to change or overcome what has happened or is happening within our lives. It’s feeling trapped by past experiences that appear to keep holding us down. It’s as if we are stuck in a rut with no possibility of creating a new beginning for ourselves and blaming others for our situation.
A victim mentality can easily happen to the best of us including yours truly. I recall when I was dismissed from my place of employment for the first time in my life during the "Great Recession". This was a terrible blow to my morale and self confidence. I mentally went into a fog. Initially, I couldn't see my way to the next opportunity. How could this happen to me with a doctorate degree with years of experience. I had been a golden boy in which everything I touched tended to turn to gold. After months without being able to find suitable employment, I began to doubt myself and to question my qualifications.
In order to stop this down slope, I had to reach deep within to change my internal conversation. It wasn't a new one, but it was self talk that I had used throughout my life. I said to myself, "This is Robert Kight and there is nothing that I can't accomplish." My entire mindset and outlook about my situation began to change. I no longer viewed myself as being unemployed, but instead considered myself to be in a state of transition. My thoughts began to focus on possibilities to create new opportunities. My self-worth was not depended on the place of employment, but on my ability to make things happen. Before long I had found a new opportunity and I was back in the game
If you are reading this article and have a sense of feeling down and out or know someone who maybe going through a similar situation, I encourage you to change your internal conversation. Focus on what you can do and how you have handled situations before. Refuse to give to the current situation. As long as you are down and not out, you have the ability to pick yourself up and continue to compete. You are not a victim, but a winner with unlimited possibilities. Please share this blog with at least 10 other people that you think would benefit from this discussion.
Written by Dr. RL Kight for Mind Power Solutions at www.mindpowersolutions.com